Meeting Your First Patient

The automated voice announces “3^rd floor” as the elevator doors open. You step out and initially bear to your left, before self-correcting and heading right. Your movement through the building isn’t quite second nature yet. The excitement is palpable in the classmates around you. You try to calm yourself by smoothing the edges of your hospital scrubs, hoping in that moment that dressing like a doctor will make you feel more like one. 

Today you are meeting your first patient. You wonder who this person will be. Man or woman? Young or old?  You wonder how you will be around them. You hope you’ll give off an air of confidence, but worry that you might panic. Say the wrong thing; do the wrong thing. As the butterflies begin to flutter in your stomach, you look around at your classmates and wonder if someone is going to faint. You wonder for a brief second if you might be the one who does. You quickly dismiss the idea as you steel yourself for what is to happen next. You fumble for your ID card and swipe it against the reader affixed to the wall.  You hear the lock disengage, press on the door push bar, and enter the anatomy lab.

Our Anatomy Lab

The room is brighter than you imagined. Nothing like the windowless rooms you’ve seen outfitted with antiquated computer equipment, painted cinder block walls, and cracked tile floors.  In fact, the back wall is lined with windows looking out on the granddaddy oaks at the front of the building. Glass cabinets containing an array of anatomical models line the opposite wall. Twenty stainless steel tables fill the center of the room. Touch screen monitors are affixed to the columns rising from each table. 

You scan the paper list posted above each column looking for your name. Finally, you locate it and walk over to your table and the donor contained within. You put on your latex gloves, open electronic copies of the dissector and atlas on the computer, then begin to pull open the metal lid covering the table. You realize you are moving slowly, apprehensive of what will be revealed. As the lid opens, a large blue bag comes into view. You feel unstable, uncertain. You look around the room for something, someone to anchor onto.  You see doctors, both MDs and PhDs, moving between the tables: the course director, the seasoned anatomist, the emergency medicine doctor, the medicine specialist of the week. Their confidence is reassuring. One notices your hesitation and stops at your table. She smiles and waits patiently for you to make your introduction. You reach for the zipper on the bag and as you pull you the realization hits you.

“Today, I am meeting my first patient.” 

Shanna Williams, PhD